The Reason
by Kimiki
Summary: Heero's side to Too Much Love Will Kill You) When 01 arrives home one day, only a note on the fridge is there to tell him what happened to his partner. After tracking him down, how long will he have to wait to get his final answer: Does Duo still love him


This is the _'save my ass'_ **Disclaimer**. Since we live in the society where you can sue someone for making hot coffee, which you spill on yourself while driving without a lid on, I have to place this in here. I do not own the song, _'The Reason'_, nor do I own any of the Gundam Boys, though I often wish that I did, many times. I would also like to thank **girlstarfish** for being kind enough to allow me to use her screen name from her great story, _'Duo's Inbox'_.

**Side Note Thing**: This is a side story to my new fic _'Too Much Love Will Kill You'_. This is Heero's side of the fic, so it might help you to decide the pairing for _'Too Much Love Will Kill You'_. And, if not, then who cares? Hell, you could already have the pairing in mind, and you're just wanting to get your opinion heard twice. And to that, I say to you: Review me please!

**Warning(s): YAOI IMPLIED THEMES HERE PEOPLE! DON'T READ IT IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!** The lyrics really **DO** have a purpose in any of my fics, so please read them! You will (hopefully) better understand the fic because of it. This is Non- AU (for once...), but the characters may be slightly OOC. Fear my god powers.

**Summary**: (Heero's side to _'Too Much Love Will Kill You'_.) When Heero arrives home one day, only a note on the 'fridge is there to tell him what happened to his partner. After tracking him down, how long will he have to wait to get his final answer: Does Duo still love him? (Pairing as of yet undecided, but no three somes.)

**THE REASON  
**  
  
_(I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do)  
_  
  
Climbing from his car, Heero Yuy walked into his apartment, choosing to climb the stairs instead of taking the elevator, knowing that the exercise wouldn't kill him. Hell, if Oz and Duo together hadn't already ended his life, then a couple of steps wouldn't! Removing the key to his apartment door, he unlocked the knob and easily opened the wooden door, calling out to his braided lover, "Duo! I'm home! Where are you?" Now, these was a normal routine where, after Heero had announced himself, Duo would bound to him and glomp him or notify him as to where in the nicely sized apartment he was. However, today was different. The only response that Heero received was... silence.  
  
_(But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you)  
_  
  
Walking into their main room, Heero gave it a once over, finding that nothing was terribly out of place. Their sofas and chairs were in the same spots, the coffee table placed beside or in front of them just as it had been before he had left earlier that morning. The TV was still mounted on the wall, and their stereo system was still in its holder. Deciding that nothing was noticeably different about this room, Heero said to himself, "Maybe he's sleeping... he sometimes likes to take naps..."  
  
_(And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know)  
_  
  
Walking through the small hallway, Heero made his way into the one bedroom that the two males shared, instantly noticing that there was no sleeping Shinigami on the queen sized bed. Growing slightly worried, Heero looked into the small bathroom that they also shared, seeing that the shower was not running, nor was his lover taking a piss. So, where could Duo be? Suddenly, he remembered their system; If one of them went out, they always left the other a note on the fridge, usually stating where they were going and when they would be back. Smiling and shaking his head, Heero made his way back to the main room, turning into the small kitchen that was positioned off to the side, immediately seeing the folded note with Duo's scrawl covering the outside. Taking it, he read his name before opening the note.  
  
_(I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you)  
_  
  
_'Hey Hee-chan!'_ the note read._ 'If you are reading this, then I guess that I didn't change my mind. Ya see, I decided to go to this new place called_ 'Living On My Own' _and I'll be back who knows when. Probably no one knows that, if you are indeed reading this and not the trashcan. So, love ya Hee-chan, but not enough to stay._

_Duo_

_P.S.: Please, don't come after me or anything like that. Let's just break up, kay?'  
_  
_(I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday)  
_  
  
Sinking into one of the wooden kitchen table chairs, Heero felt his mouth hang open slightly in shock as he read and reread the farewell letter. Why would Duo leave him? What had he done to drive the charismatic man away from him? What had he done wrong? What had he not done right? How could he correct his mistake?  
  
_(And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away)  
_  
  
Glaring at the paper that the braided man had chosen to write on, Heero crumpled it between his hands, never noticing that his vision was growing blurry by the unshed tears behind his eyes. Throwing it into the trash, he watched with angry satisfaction as Duo's words were tossed in the trash with no second thought, just like what Duo had done to his heart.  
  
_(And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear)  
_  
  
Leaning back, Heero kicked his feet onto he kitchen table's top, a hole in his sock showing the tip of his big toe. If Duo had seen that, then the braided man would have teased Heero to no end about it, most likely on how all the half-Japanese man's footwear was old and worn. Then Heero would have glared at him, or said, "Hn." or both, and then Duo would have thrown back his head and would have laughed heartily. Heero would then have fought the urge to roll his eyes, and would have lost. Then the two would have ended their conversation with a kiss, followed, maybe, by some sex. Throwing his chair back onto all four legs, Heero held his head in his hands, feeling a tight pain in his chest at the realization that there would be no more Duo to laugh with, to tease and to be teased by. No more fighting over the remote or what movie to watch, nor races to the phone to order take-out. In general, Heero's life would return to the way it had been when he was training with Doctor J; Dull, monotonous and boring.  
  
_(I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is You)  
_  
  
Lifting up his head up, Heero concluded that he wouldn't accomplish anything by moping over how Duo had left him, so, as Wufei would put it, unjustly. Hell, the braided baka hadn't even given him a reason for his leaving! Just that he _'loved him, but not enough to stay'_! What the hell did that mean anyway?! 

Standing, Heero made his way to their— his— bedroom, walking to the small desk located beside the doorway, opening his laptop and logging onto the internet. Entering the files that were specifically used to hack, he began the long process of deducting where Duo Maxwell, Shinigami and Master Thief, could have disappeared.  
  
_(I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you)  
_  
  
Finding Duo's files, Heero began to discover that he hadn't moved very far at all; In fact, he was still in the same city! Finding the phone number (it was originally an unlisted number), he programmed it into his cell phone, making sure that it was correct before beginning to erase his steps. However, he happened across Duo's mail and, wanting to know if it would give him any clues, he read the e-mail somewhat shamelessly. However, the address **_notweak(at)extremely-manly-dragons. org_** caught his attention quickly, and he began to read all e-mails from that person first. He quickly realized that it was Wufei, and then he realized that the 05 pilot was now involving himself in a relationship with Duo! After reading all the conversations that they had shared just over the internet, Heero realized that, if he didn't try now, Duo would be lost to him forever. And so, that was when he started calling the long haired man every other day or so, just wanting to know what he had done to lose his love. However, after several attempts, he realized that Duo wasn't going to talk to him, and so, when the Preventer's offered him a job, he agreed without a second thought. I mean, he thought to himself, what do I have to hold me back? Only memories and a foolish hope.  
  
_(And so I just have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know)  
_  
  
Dialing the number, Heero heard the tone ring several times before Duo's perky voice came over the speaker.

_"Hey, this is Maxwell, more commonly known to you peons as Shinigami. Leave a message, or just fuck off. And I mean that in the nicest possible way."_ Taking a breath, Heero heard the beep and began with, "Duo..." Sighing softly, he tried to think of something to say that he hadn't already said to the braided man. Slumping his shoulders and closing his eyes, Heero tightened his grip on the handle and stated, "Onegai Duo." Quickly arranging his thoughts, Heero began to say the words as they came to him, feeling that he could never truly explain himself and his feelings and emotions so inefficiently as with words. He was a man of action, not a man of speech!

"Just hear me out this one last time, Duo." Heero said, pausing briefly, waiting it see if Duo would pick up the phone, in the off chance that he was actually at his apartment. Sighing softly, Heero told him, "I just wanted you to know that I am leaving. The Preventers offered me a high ranking position, and since I have nothing to tie me here anymore, I thought, why not? So, I just wanted... Damn it Duo, I don't know what I want!" Heero exclaimed, feeling his hold on his emotions snap, letting his frustration and confusion show through. "I just decided that I would ask you to come see me off... That is, if you still want to try to work on our relationship. I still don't understand why you left me in the first place... I sent all the information to your e-mail..." Taking a deep breath, Heero's voice shook as he said, "If you don't show up, I won't contact you anymore. Just... Gomen Duo, for whatever it was I did to ruin our love. Onegai Duo-kun, aishiteru."

_(I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you)  
_  
  
Standing in the O'Hare Airport, Heero nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He was nervous over what Duo's answer would possibly be, and so he had begun to turn back to long forgotten habits from the war; Keeping an attentive eye on anyone and everything around him, keeping his hand near where his gun would be, if he was allowed to wear it that is, and pacing back and forth. It was only fifteen minutes until Duo should arrive here, if he was even coming at all.  
  
_(I've found a reason to show)  
_  
  
_'But, why should Duo show?'_ he wondered to himself as he dejectedly sat in one of the chairs behind him. The entire seating and waiting area was, it seemed, just for him, since no one else was within a five feet radius of him. However, that could be because they thought that he might kill them, the way that he was jerkily moving back and forth, hand always touching the top of his pant's, where his gun would have been if he wasn't at an airport... And, actually, once they couldn't have been closer to the truth about Heero killing them. He had been a terrorist after all! However, he was now too preoccupied with worrying to even put his heart into glaring at someone who stared at him or lingered around his general vicinity for too long.  
  
_(A side of me you didn't know)  
_  
  
Standing, he began pacing again, beating his boarding ticket against his palm, careful to not bend it. Glancing at the conveniently placed clock (one of the reasons that he had chosen this group of chairs), Heero realized that Duo now only had ten minutes to show before he had to go and wait for his flight. So, if he was coming, where the hell was he!?  
  
_(A reason for all that I do)  
_  
  
Running a hand through his perpetually messy bangs, Heero sighed loudly, collapsing into a chair and covering his eyes with his hand, the other hanging limply to the ground, boarding pass still firmly held. He still didn't know if he wanted Duo to show or not. Well, sure, he wanted Duo to come, but if it came down to his happiness or Duo's, he would always choose Duo. It was just never a question. If Duo would be happy without him, then, Heero would live with that. Looking at the clock, he found that Duo only had five minutes left.  
  
_(And the reason is you_ ) 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

And again with this voting thing...

**Author's Note**: Okay! You get to tell me who little Duo-chan should choose! Here are the choices (there will be no threesomes...)  
  
**A.** 1x2x1, 5-2  
  
**B.** 5x2x5, 2-1  
  
And, if I don't get any responses, I'll just go with the choice that I prefer... But I'm not gonna say! Don't wanna influence you decision and all that!


End file.
